Road to Absolution
by Taryn Eithne
Summary: Seifer returns to Garden, not seeking forgiveness, but seeking the chance to simply earn his right as SeeD. But when he meets up with the old gang, he may receive more than he had ever hoped for: acceptance. Selfer, please R
1. Curiosity

Ack! I couldn't resist writing this! I've got the best idea and I think I'm going to burst if I don't let it out sometime soon! So here it is, my very first FF8 fan fiction!! You guys, I would really appreciate it if you reviewed!!!

But no flames, please?

And now the disclaimer!

*Seifer is shoved onto the stage with a large stack of index cards in his hands. He loudly curses the hands backstage and turns to the audience*

"There's not a chance in hell I'm fixing to read your stupid cards, much less fall in love with—"

*notices Taryn glaring madly*

"Or… maybe I'll just read the cue cards…" *Looks at cards* "We, the puppets and eternal servants of Taryn Eithne are owned by Taryn Eithne and shall hereby… _this is bullshit!!!_ Taryn Eithne owns bullshit, except the dinky little laptop she's writing on! She only wishes she could own us!

*storms off stage*

Um… okay, so here it is, the first chapter of…

Road to Absolution 

**Chapter One: Curiosity**

He remembered well the day he had given up everything he had ever hoped for. How long had it been since he had given his body, his soul, his entire being to the woman who had tricked him into fulfilling her malevolent ways? How long since he had betrayed his teachers, his friends, his own _goals_ to follow a dream that he knew from the beginning would be a failure.

It had to have been at least a year. The aftereffects of the War were almost gone now, including the rebuilding the destroyed Trabia Garden—he had been following the news on its revival, and had silently applauded the students at Trabia Garden for withstanding his own attack so well.

The reminder of recent news caused him to turn to a nearby Balamb news stand, where a young girl was trying—unsuccessfully—to sell her share of the _Balamb Daily Times_. He approached her and purchased one of her parchments, handing her the few Gil it cost and noting her look of triumph as she pocketed the pretty pennies. He looked at the date of the paper. It had been exactly one year, one month, and four days since he had last battle with his arch nemesis, the only person he had ever found capable of outdoing him in battle.

He could still feel the wounds inflicted on him that day.

The flash wounds had healed easily—they were nothing a few curagas couldn't fix.

But the rest of him was still recovering. His pride was what was hurt the most: never again would he be able to walk the halls of Balamb Garden with his head held high again; hell, he could hardly walk down the streets of his adopted home town without receiving a few spiteful glances.

And his heart hurt as well. He had betrayed his friends; so much that they were forced to turn on him and join sides with his enemies, his old friends—at least, as close as he could get to friends: they had, after all, grown up together despite the fact that they weren't fond of him now.  He had betrayed his Matron, his headmaster, his instructors, and his deceased parents where ever they were. And he had betrayed himself. He had given away everything to follow a hopeless dream.

And look where that had put him. On the streets, that's where. Leaving him to fend for himself, earn his own living, and sometimes even deal  with the fact that life just wouldn't deal him and wild card, and he would not be winning that night.

He couldn't help but wonder what the others were doing now. His posse had long since disappeared, claiming readmission into Balamb Garden, where he could only assume they had reclaimed their rights as the Disciplinary Committee. But the others—he had no idea what the others might be doing.

But they were sure as hell doing better than Seifer Almasy.

~~~

Selphie Tilmitt hummed a tune as she skipped merrily through the halls of Balamb Garden. Today would be the day when Irvine, her long time standing best friend, would be receiving his well-deserved SeeD Certificate, alongside Rinoa, who was also claiming her spot in the ranks of SeeD.

She suddenly remembered her own inauguration into the ranks of SeeD. What a joyous day is had been for her! She could still clearly see the proud look o her comrades' faces, save Squall, who has kept his usual, indifferent air for as long as she was around.

Well, his used-to-be indifferent air. But Rinoa had changed all that, and everybody was grateful for it. _Though,_ Selphie admitted to herself, _All of us changed in some way, even Seifer…_

Sudden thoughts of the Sorceress's knight plagued Selphie's mind like a disease, and she scrunched her nose playfully. A passing student gave her a funny look, but she ignored it and continued her thought process. Seifer had certainly _not_ seemed to change following the War, and yet Selphie had the funniest feeling that he _had_ changed—at least by now.

His friends certainly had. Raijin and Fujin were now comfortably settled into Garden, and were doing quite well as students: already Fujin had advanced four levels, and was only two levels away from having to take her SeeD exam if she chose to do so, and even Raijin had advanced on level. Even Squall had admitted that their change in priorities and attitude was definitely a plus to Garden… and they made one hell of a Disciplinary Committee. Selphie couldn't even _hope_ to sneak out of her dorm at night anymore to visit the quad without getting caught, and getting caught meant serious trouble, even for one of the world's saviors, like Selphie. She could only wonder what the Committee had been like with _Seifer_ as part of it as well.

She couldn't help but wonder where he was now, though she was completely unaware of the fact that she would soon have her answer.

~~~

He couldn't help it. He just had to return. And why not? He had always worked hard, though most instructors would have called him a troublemaker, but did he ever have academic problems? Of course not. He was Seifer Almasy, and whether or not he appeared to be so, he had the mind to rival even the best of Galbadia's minds. He just never found a way to put it to good use.

But he was different now, and ready to take his career as a SeeD seriously, if Garden would have him back. He hoped to Hyne that they would…though serious doubts managed his minds, giving him doubts. His resolve wavered as he approached the school, but he dared not turn around now. It was almost night by the time he had reached the front gate, which had been reattached to the ground to allow for easy access to and from Balamb. He requested entrance by the gate master, who hesitated before allowing the infamous Seifer Almasy into his old territory, but the gate master also knew that Squall would be able to handle any problems that might arise. Seifer merely nodded a small thanks and quickly entered. It would have been class time when he entered, so Seifer hoped he could get to the headmaster's office quickly and quietly, and without delay.

However, the inauguration was occurring and Seifer managed to walk in right in the middle of it. He stepped into the large front hall, expecting it to be void save one or two people, but he walked in only to find the entire school assembled—and facing him.  
_Of course Squall sets up right in front of the door_, Seifer thought irritably as a wave of gasps and hurried whispers traveled throughout the crowd. Those who were at the podium turned, curious to see what the commotion was about. Seifer suddenly found himself looking into the eyes that he had grown up with—the eyes of his old childhood friends.

***

And thus ends chapter one!! Well, it's uber late and I don't feel like leaving much of an after note, so I'm just going to say adieu and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review my story!!! I love you guys!!!

~Taryn Eithne

P.S. Stay tuned for the next chappy, of **Road to Absolution, Chapter Two: Animosity**!!!

The teaser line? Ici:

"The silence was deafening for Seifer as he tried to make eye contact with everybody in the room. Suddenly, a girl on the stage spoke up. He recognized this girl. Why, she was none other than the Messenger Girl, the frighteningly hyper Selphie Tilmitt…"


	2. Animosity

Alright, an update! does the special Taryn Dance

Ok, the usuals apply: I own nothing but I would own Seifer if I could. I own all my doodlies of him, though, so that's close enough. Anyway, all you should probably go reread the first chapter seeing how long it's been… But yeah. Here's the next installment….

**Road to Absolution**

**Chapter 2: Animosity**

The entire school was brought to a shocked silence as the two rivals exchanged stares. Squall Leonhart couldn't believe that he was looking directly into the eyes of the man he had hoped to never see again. And yet here he was, watching the crowd as if daring them to make any sort of move against him. Squall wondered what was going through the young man's mind.

The silence was deafening for Seifer as he tried to make eye contact with everybody in the room. If he could intimidate one of them—one, at least—then maybe, just maybe, they would stop staring. Suddenly, a girl at the podium spoke up. He recognized this girl. Why, she was none other than the Messenger Girl, the frighteningly hyper Selphie Tilmitt.

"Seifer? What are you doing here?"

Seifer opened his mouth to speak, but found that no words would come out. It was one of the rare times that Seifer actually felt helpless in his entire life; as though his entire future rested on the mere decisions of the people surrounding him. Yet he could find no words, no explanation for his sudden return. What was he to say, anyway?

"I—I have come to speak to Cid," he finally managed to huff loudly, sending a glare to some unpleasant underlings that were staring at him unreligiously. They slightly cowered from him and began whispering excitedly. Seifer's glare then found two very familiar faces hurdling themselves towards the front of the stage: Raijin and Fujin. The two looked almost panicked as they watched Seifer and Seifer watched them. It had been forever and a day in his eyes since he had last seen them, and he missed the two more than he would ever admit and they would ever realize. He would have called to them, but Quistis Trepe's voice brought Seifer out of the slight reverie.

"SeeD does not allow just _anybody_ to speak to the Headmaster, Seifer. You must provide a valid reason, as he is very busy." The cold tone of the instructor was new to Seifer, as even when he had been rude to her, she had always maintained a sarcastic, amused tone around him. Now her voice was cold as steel, and her pale blue eyes reflected this ice as coldly as Squall's. Seifer suddenly noticed the coldness that permeated from all the onlookers eyes as they rested upon him, and he ironically only found solstice in a few pair, namely those of the caring Rinoa whom he had once come to love, and from Selphie, whom Seifer had always understood was kindhearted and forgiving to most. Maybe, if he could reach her, the same forgiveness would seep into the veins of those from whom he needed the forgiveness most, namely the Commander himself and from Cid.

"Then I need to talk to a few of you. _Privately_," Seifer responded to Quistis's question, causing the tall blonde to hesitate a moment.

"Maybe you should be waitin' for the ceremony to end, then." Seifer couldn't help but sneer at this next familiar voice, belonging namely to the man whom Seifer had merely dubbed the cowboy-wannabe. If he remembered correctly, the man's name was Irvine, but Chicken-Wuss and Puberty-Boy had proven that Seifer didn't have to know real names. Seifer's sneer only made the cowboy glare in return, fingering the rifle hanging loosely at his side.

Seifer's hand also automatically went to his weapon, but he quickly withdrew it, knowing that any duel at this point would ruin the chances he was quickly destroying. He instead clenched his fist and took a seat on the stage as the ceremony proceeded. It was a long and drawn-out ceremony (just as Seifer had always remembered it to be) and was hard to stay awake for, but what was to come after, Seifer knew was well worth the wait.

"Now, Seifer, why have you come back here?" Even after she had been given time to settle down, Quistis's voice was still cold and Seifer again found himself at a loss for words. He swallowed quickly, hoping that the words he wanted to say were the words that came out, and that the worst wouldn't happen. Not that it was too bad to start, but at this point, Seifer really couldn't handle being denied the home that he so desperately longed to return to.

"I want to return. To Garden." Seifer stated boldly after a few seconds, "I wish to make amends with Balamb Garden and return as a practicing student."

Somehow, Zell actually managed to choke on the air as Seifer made his comment, and the blonde snickered as the other gasped for air. Squall's face remained unamused as Rinoa tried to help Zell, and his gaze remained on Seifer.

"What makes you think Garden is even willing to accept you back?" Zell cried after a few moments of choking. Seifer shrugged his shoulders, unsure of what to say.

"I think we should let him back."

The voice had seem so sure of itself that Seifer almost doubted it to come from the tiny girl standing next to the cowboy. It seemed that none of the others believed it either, as everybody turned to give Selphie rather incredulous looks. Squall crossed his arms and continued to stare, as if imploring Selphie to offer an explanation.

"Well, I think everybody deserves a second chance," Selphie stole a glance at Seifer, "And that even though he inflicted immeasurable pain upon many—" (for which everybody nodded in agreement)—"I think he has suffered almost as much as we all have. Seifer, have you changed?"

Seifer's mouth was firmly shut and he gritted his teeth, both in irritation for the reminder of his past actions and for the pain that Selphie so accurately described, but he managed to nod quickly. Zell let out a frustrated grunt in response, crossing his arms much like Squall.

Finally, the silent leader spoke. "Seifer, for what reasons do you think you deserve to return?"

Seifer's first thought was actually to show Squall his superior junctioning and weapons skills, but then again decided that it would not be so effective in winning the group's affection. "I—I can prove my worth, if you let me try—" Seifer hesitated and looked away before finishing the sentence—"Please, just give me a chance."

He couldn't bring himself to look at the faces that the others were offering in response. He didn't want to know what they were thinking, what they were feeling. He couldn't handle the rejection that he was almost certain would come at this point. He had nothing to offer; no proof, no consolation, nothing that they could accept as a valid excuse to be accepted.

But he had completely underestimated Selphie's belief in a second chance. He had completely ignored the forgiveness that had passed through her face, briefly through the faces of a few others. He had completely missed the pathetic look shared between the group of six begging his acceptance. He almost completely missed the Balamb Commander addressing him.

"We shall leave it up to the Headmaster. If he so chooses to accept you, then consider yourself temporarily off the hook." Seifer had turned around at this point, ready to leave. He flung himself back around to face the small group and had to force himself to not fly into the arms of the nearest person (which, ironically, would have been either Zell or Squall) and to calmly follow the retreating Quistis to the Headmaster's office.

Wow. Two years. Over two years.

God, what has school done to me!

But that's ok, I'm starting anew! I officially have more time now that IB (search International Baccalaureate Programme, if you're curious) no longer controls my life, so hopefully this will be continued moreso than it has… Wait, it already is!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I actually enjoyed returning to this story—but I'm not updating until I get reviews! . !

Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter, **Road to Absolution, Chapter 3: Second Chances**!

Oh, and of course, the teaser line:

"'I couldn't very well just leave you to rot, could I? I'm going to help you get readjusted.' He wouldn't have chosen her if given a chance, but at this point he was just grateful for the acceptance, even if it were temporary."

Hmm, somebody's helping somebody out. But you can probably guess, seeing the… uh… summary and category… ;

Taryn Eithne


	3. Opportunity

Wow, it's been… much longer than I thought it had. I'm so sorry guys! But here's an update just for you. Maybe they'll come more often from now on. I'll certainly try to make it so!

Anyway, I just want to thank everybody who reviewed and harassed because you guys got me started again. Hopefully you'll all find it, and think that all this rambling means lots more words!

Well, it's really not, but at least here's chapter three:

**Road to Absolution**

**Chapter Three: Opportunity**

It didn't really come as a surprise to him; if the six whom he had try to kill were willing to give him a second chance, the ever-forgiving Cid was more likely willing to offer one, too. Seifer's gratitude, however, was just as great—though he would never admit it.

He was unable to reobtain his old room, which made sense seeing as Garden had drastically grown since the defeat of Ultimecia and the hall on which his room rested had been transformed into a female students' hall—not that he would have complained. But he was actually given a room on the SeeD hall rather than the student hall, for which he was also grateful to Cid. Cid's logic had been that he was more likely to be friendlier with the SeeDs that with the inferior students (which were ultimately all younger than he). Seifer also suspected that the logic was also that SeeDs could more easily contain him if trouble were to arise than students could (if they even would come near him). But for that Seifer also didn't mind, because it turned out that SeeD dorms were actually co-habituated since most SeeDs lived abroad rather than in Garden. That meant that Seifer had incredibly easy access to—

"Hey Seify! Open the door!" A loud knocking was followed by this shrill declaration, to which Seifer winced not only at the ungodly hour at which it occurred, but also at the horrendous nickname which so been bestowed upon him.

In response, he grunted and threw his pillow violently against the door.

Damn. That was his pillow.

"Seriously, Seify! It's time to get up!" The banging persisted and the noise was getting more shrill with every word. Seifer let out the biggest groan he could manage, hoping the nuisance would go away with that hint. It didn't happen, of course, so he threw his legs off the bed with one final grunt. Not caring whether or not his boxers were appropriate attire for greeting a neighbor, he threw open the door violently. There stood the Messenger Girl, face aglow with glee (and probably sugar, he mused) at him finally responding. It was a face that quickly turned to embarrassment, however, as she surveyed his inappropriate coverage.

_"What_. Are you doing here?" He grunted as she quickly covered her eyes, flushed. She shook her head.

"Squall sent me! He said I should show you around!" she cried through her hands, and Seifer wondered if she was regretting it yet.

He grunted again and crossed his arms, not caring about how embarrassed she was. "And _why _would you think I _want _your help?" He heavily suspected that Squall had chosen Selphie for a specific reason, that especially _not _being her wonderful ability to maintain peace. Maybe he could scare her away.

She seemed to grow braver as he stared at her, and finally removed her hands from her face. She gave him a determined look. "Because a lot has changed since you were last here," she managed, finally gaining control of her wavering voice, "And I couldn't very well just leave you to rot, could I? I'm going to get you readjusted to this place." He thought for a moment about her offer. True, just getting to his dorm the night before had been a new experience, and maybe he could stand to cozy up to a few important people. He _certainly _didn't consider the Messenger Girl one of those important people, and he _certainly _wouldn't have chosen her to help him if he had been given a choice, but he had to suppose something good would come out of it. Surely the arrangement would be temporary—a day or two at worst.

"Just let me get dressed," he mumbled, barely audible, but she heard him well enough. He slammed the door just as her signature, "Booyaka!" rang out, and he flinched under her intense pitch. Maybe agreeing to the petite bag of energy was a mistake after all. But he had agreed, and couldn't afford to actually turn her down and have her go running to Squall. Hyne knew she would end up crying her annoying green eyes out and telling Puberty Boy just how horribly mean Seifer had been to her accepting arms. Then surely the commander would have him booted so fast he wouldn't even have time to—

_Acceptance_. That's what he was looking for, right? And Selphie was offering it to him now. But did he really want it from Messenger Girl? He shook his head roughly and changed his clothes. They weren't really changed, just clean and washed, and he grabbed his gunblade to go with them. Then, as though thinking twice, he set it back down on the table. He admired it for a few minutes, trying to decide if it looked better on the table, or at his waist.

"You should leave it there," he heard from the door, and found Selphie, giving him a rare, serious look. He stared blankly in return, wondering how she had gotten in and why she was commenting. "It makes you look friendlier," she finished, a wink drawing her face back to its usual cheerfulness, "And friendly is what you need right now."

He shrugged in response, wondering if friendly was actually him, or if it really _was _what he needed. He decided it was best not to ponder, and Messenger Girl needed a quick comeback. But before he could get out one word, she was bouncing out the door. "Now let's go before they run out of hot dogs!"

"But it's not even noon!" he shouted after her, but she was already down the hall and almost out of sight. With one last longing glance to his gunblade, he shut his door and turned to follow. She would be the first to regret it if he came upon any instance where he would need his gunblade today, he would make sure of it.

But first, he had to see what all this hubbub over these hot dogs was. Hell, maybe soon he would understand Chicken Wuss and Messenger Girl… But that was highly unlikely.

-End Chapter 3-

Sweet, that looks like a good place to end it. Hopefully chapter four will be up soon as well, and you guys won't have to wait long.

But just so you guys know, I GRADUATED! And I'm actually succeeding at Tech, so you guys can get off my case, hahaha.

Just kidding I love you all. But be sure to leave reviews and love and even criticism—but gentle!

Also, I hope Seifer wasn't too out of character. I tried to make him meaner, but let's face it. The guy's a big softie and we all know it. Just let me know if it bothers you too much. I'll try to do better next chapter, haha.

Oh, and how could I almost forget the next chapter's teaser (which, ironically, are getting less and less true to the chapter themselves):

"'Irvy, you promised that you would be nice! We all promised we would give him a chance, so lighten up!' Seifer had never really had anybody aside from Raijin and Fujin stand up for him, not even Cid. He knew he should have been grateful, but all he really felt was helpless, and a little offended."

Alright! So stay tuned for Chapter Four: Ability! (subject to change)


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